Sep 3, 2007

Playground Pooper

Just for the record, the picture here is of a child covered in Peanut Butter. From Megamommatron's flikr set

Little kids are great. I have some and they are incredible.

My wife and I work hard to raise ours properly and because of our attention, our kids are well behaved. There are some things that our kids would never do, however we see other peoples kids do them all the time.

So for the first time I am writing a Mini-AssClown edition. There will be others.

Kids have accidents. They spill their milk. They drop their dishes. They put things in their mouth that don't belong.

Kids even have "accidents". These are the potty accidents. They might think they are going to fart, and instead plaster their shorts. They may fall off the toilet and sprinkle the linoleum. And don't even ask about fingerprints.

These are true accidents and I would never fault a child or parent who was involved in one. I have seen them all.

There are kids however, who know better. Kids that should know where it is OK to 'pop-a-squat'. Kids that know where they are supposed to drop a 'dookie'. This goes double for little girls.

I recently went to an open house for a kindergarten class. There was a guy in a costume and some ice cream. They were showing the classrooms and the gym. The teachers spoke with each new student.

When everyone was done, most went home. Since we live so close, we decided to stay and play on the equipment. One of our children ran off to play on the ramps for the portable classrooms. I chased them and after running around for a while I carried our little bundle back to the toys.

This is when I saw the little girl. She was hunkered down under the platform for the smaller slide, with her back towards me.

Now the little girls these days have been wearing pants that are cut very low at the waste so I thought that she had some plumber butt going on. I tried not to pay attention, but as I got closer it became apparent that her whole derriere was protruding out of her little jeans. What in the world is that 5 year old doing with her pants down.

Oh No! No way! That's not a tail. She is laying a steamer under the toys. Eeewwww!

I looked around for a parent and saw her mom glancing over from across the wood chips. I said to the little girl, "Ahh, excuse me" and she hopped behind a pole with her butt still hanging out.

Her mom came over and I explained that her daughter had left a present under the toys.

There were open bathrooms, there were other kids playing there and this girl was not in the "special needs" category.

Therefore, I am going to have to award her the Mini-AssClown award.

No comments: